Please Hear my NO

If I say no when you ask me to do something, please hear me.

Believe it or not, I actually don’t like saying no to things people ask me to do, housework like cleaning excepted.

Saying no is particularly hard for me at work, perhaps because one of the things I pride myself on is my reliability; my ability to be the one who will come through for people.

But I also don’t like saying no when friends or family ask me to do things with them. Despite being an introvert, and liking my alone time, I wish I had more energy to be with those I care about.

If I say no when you ask me to do something, please hear me.

Saying no is a way I have of keeping myself healthy. Not just emotionally healthy, as it is good to have boundaries, but physically healthy. Simply put, I do not have the energy most people have to do the tasks that we all need to do each day. I have to be very careful with my energy reserves, so that the things that need to be done, can be done. And even then, every day, I don’t do things most people do without thinking about it.

Things that need to be done around the house, like organizing, putting things away, even dishes, often wait till the weekend because I am too tired after a day at work to do them. And then, on at least 1, but often 2-3 weekends each month, I crash out all day Saturday and sometimes Sunday too. And by crash out I mean I don’t get up other than to eat and go to the bathroom. My body is depleted. The best way to explain it is that fatigue you get with the flu.

So when I say no to something that would mean having to do work outside my job in the weekend, I am not doing it because I am lazy. I am doing it because odds are I will not be able to wake up, and if I can, I need to catch up. Sometimes, just sometimes, I get to spend time doing something fun with my husband, his mom, my church group. (My parents live far away so visits are on vacations).

When I say no to doing something social, I am not doing it because I don’t care, or want to spend time with the person. I am doing it because odds are I will not be able to stay alert for the visit and actually be mentally as well as physically present.

I don’t like it when people tell me no. I am not sure any of us really like hearing it. Odds are we all put our own perspective on why the other person is doing it. Maybe some people are saying it because they are lazy, don’t care, don’t want to, can’t be bothered, don’t like you. But that isn’t me, that isn’t my no.

So if I say no when you ask me to do something, please hear me.

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2 responses to “Please Hear my NO

  1. I love it that you are always honest with me and you don’t say yes when you mean no. I realize that often you want to but just can not and for that I’m sorry. I miss our early dinners and honest conversations. Love it when you can say yes and I can say yes!

  2. No can be a really important word in life when making decisions. Maybe that’s why it is one of the first words babies learn. We could all learn to use “No” more to balance our lives and preserve our talents for things that are most important.

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